A lot of people ask me, "I bet you can't wait for a cure." Of course I would like a cure for paralysis. But it is too late for me. I do not want a cure for myself. That might sound a little not right. But it is the truth. My body now is kind of like a trophy with a lot of battle scars that is unfixable.
Like a lot of things about paralysis it is hard to explain. If tomorrow there was some miraculous cure that could repair spinal cord injuries and I took it that would be a day I would be in a lot of pain. I wouldn't even want to imagine the amount of pain I would be in physically and mentally. But even if there was a miraculous cure it wouldn't help because of the bullet in my spinal column. That is another story.
After years of not being able to feel, a paralyzed body starts to break down and deform. The joints, the cartilage and stuff are pretty much shot after five or 10 years. All of the cushioning between the bones has deteriorated. So as you could imagine the pain would be unbearable.
Along with that there is also the muscle atrophy. When you do not use muscles they become almost dead. I used to have spasms in my legs, the spasms kept some muscle tone in my legs but I haven't had spasms in my legs for many years. My leg muscles are pretty much dead. That may be a hard pill for some to swallow but that is the reality. I wouldn't want to even imagine the feeling of being able to feel and not being able to move an appendage. That would suck.
The amount of surgeries that it would take for all of my joints and muscles to get back to somewhat of a normal function would be unbelievable. I don't think I could bear that many surgeries.
So for the above reasons I do not want a cure for myself. But of course I want a cure for people it could help. I myself am beyond repair. I am pretty much just spare parts now pieced together. Kind of like an old junker car that somehow keeps on running.
I have hope for others of course but it is too late for quads like myself. The sooner people realize that the sooner they can focus on living your life as a quad.
For more information about issues after spinal cord injury follow the links below.
Thanks for reading, Clint