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Thursday, February 1, 2018

Before, now and after stuff


There are always going to be what ifs. But there is only one what if I know that is true. That is this. What if I wasn't a quadriplegic? The answer to that is I would not have gotten to know a lot of awesome people. The amount of support I get from my friends, family and strangers is unbelievably overwhelming.

The amount of people I have met just because I have been in this condition would be hard to count. The amount of these people that I have met that have become true friends is awesome. The amount of these people that I have met that have become people that I can rely on is awesome. The amount of these people that I have met that have become people that I can confide in has been life changing.

These people have come from every type of background and community you can think of. The medical field, hunting community, Facebook friends, blog followers, hunting forum friends and countless others have supported me through thick and thin, no matter what is going on and I don't even have to ask for the help.

You know who you are. If you're reading this, there is a good chance you are one of these people.


I have been through a lot of good and bad this year. This year by far has been my most trying. But one of my new friends told me, "It may not seem like a small challenge but it truly is a small challenge compared to the challenges you have faced and overcome." It's words like this that lift my spirits and keep me going.

I have missed a lot this year dealing with some medical stuff. I have missed a lot of events. I have missed wedding receptions, bonfires, baseball games, wildlife club stuff, hunting, shenanigans and many other occasions that are tough to miss. Living the life I have lived over the last few years has finally caught up to me. I'm going to have to learn not to abuse my body and take care of it a little bit more. I need to be user-friendly. That is going to be hard for me to do. I am not used to sitting around and doing nothing. Or at least take it easy a little bit more in between outings. It is to be hard not getting in the chair and going when I want.


It's amazing how much better I feel when I am in the wheelchair. It totally changes my perspective. I have really learned that over these last 11 plus months. I don't even have to do anything. Just to get out of bed, out of the house and out of this room is so relieving. I imagine most wouldn't understand. I used to miss not being able to run around and being able bodied. Now I look forward to time in the chair. That to me is crazy. Hell, I look forward to time out of bed.

When I get all healed up and my body lets me do what I want, I am going to make the rounds visiting my friends around the state. This is fair warning. It's going to be a hell of a party… It's not going to suck!

Thanks for reading, Clint.

Monday, January 29, 2018

Songs by Weird Clint Yankovic…


Here are a few alternate lyrics I have written. This is just a sample. Most of my others are not PG rated… Not even close.

She thinks my wheelchair's sexy (She thinks my tractor's sexy parody)

She thinks my wheelchair's sexy
It really turns her on
She's always lookin' at me
While I'm wheelin' along
She likes the way it's rolling
While I am cruisin' up the road
She's goes kinda crazy bout my recline mode
She's doesn't seem to picky
As long as she gets me
She thinks my wheelchair's sexy


Captain Morgan (José Cuervo parody)

Captain Morgan you are a friend of mine.
I like to drink you with a little Sprite most times.
Did I kiss all the cowgirls?
Did I leave the Spare Time?
Did I dance at the VF?
Did I make it to the Trio?


North Dakota Boyz (California Gurls parody)

I know a place
where the deer are always bigger
cold, windy and snowing
there must be something in the artesian
drinking beer and rum
staying up till one
(were drunk)
the Bucks
are in rut
try to sniff some estrus
(she's hot)

you could go somewhere else
but why would you
maybe to Minnesota
but probably South Dakota
but not Canada
eh eehh eh

North Dakota bucks
they're not forgettable
Mallard ducks
with orange beak
little webbed feet
so cute
they go good with beer
quack quack quack
grunt grunt grunt

North Dakota fish
walleyes undeniable
fine fresh fish
we got them hooked
Devils Lake represent
look at your tip up
Go set it now
or you will miss it

laying in the mud
or in a deer stand
we hunt
in a truck
Hank Williams on the radio

you could go somewhere else
but why would you
maybe to Minnesota
but probably South Dakota
but not Canada
eh eehh eh

North Dakota bucks
they're not forgettable
Mallard ducks
with orange beak
little webbed feet
so cute
they go good with beer
quack quack quack
grunt grunt grunt

North Dakota fish
walleyes undeniable
fine fresh fish
we got them hooked
Devils Lake represent
look at your tip up
Go set it now
or you will miss it

Farmers tan
always ready
get the light beer were getting heavy
wild wild North Dakota
this is our address
you know the spot
it's where were hunting
shoot it
slay it
gut and clean it
the Bucks are freaks
we have some wheat
we live in the prairie
don't worry
we have TV
we love the fall
we always have a ball
sheyenne River
and Claussen Springs
fishing is everything
shotgun shells in
shotgun shells out
all those walleyes
not fished out
cranking trolling jigging
no weeds
just a whopper
maybe a bonfire
North Dakota
(giggity)
oh look a posted sign
(oh no)
let's get out of here
did you grab the beer
(oh yes)

North Dakota bucks
they're not forgettable
Mallard ducks
with orange beak
little webbed feet
so cute
they go good with beer
quack quack quack
grunt grunt grunt

North Dakota fish
walleyes undeniable
fine fresh fears
we got them hooked
Devils Lake represent
look at your tip up
Go set it now
or you will miss it

Nodak, nodak
North Dakota Boyz
you wish you could be us
North Dakota Boyz
(nodak)
you really wish
you all could be
North Dakota Boyz
(nodak, yeah)


Enderlin by morning (Amarillo by morning parody)

Enderlin by mornin'

Up from Sheldon
Everything that I shot
Is just what I've scoped on

When that moon is high in that nodak sky
I'll be cruisin' on the county line
Enderlin by mornin'
Enderlin, I'll be there

They took my youth in Lisbon
Got my first by Embden
I lost my tag and a license
Somewhere outside the Chev

But I'll be chasin' whitetail when they set the date
And I hope the G & F ain't late
Enderlin by mornin'
Enderlin's on my mind

Enderlin by mornin'
Up from Sheldon
Everything that I shot
Is just what I've scoped on

I ain't got a booner but what I got tastes fine
I ain't crying but at least I'm huntin'
Enderlin by mornin'
Enderlin's where I'll be

Enderlin by mornin'
Enderlin's where I'll be



My Favorite Things parody

Raindrops on hunting blind, mud on my tires.
Waiting for Mr. Buck while Otis sits by fire.
Smell of deer urine & listening for grunting,
these are a few of my favorite things...

Mossy Oak camo and crispy leaves falling.
Just when I think deer, it's a squirrel crawling.
The ducks and the geese are flying,
these are a few of my favorite things...

When the sun burns, when it's humid,
is when I feel sad,
I simply remember my favorite things,
and then I don't feel so bad...

Alternate ending.

When the frost kills, when the flies die,
is when I feel glad,
I simply remember my favorite things,
and then I feel so bad...


 Thanks for singing along, Clint.

Thursday, January 25, 2018

Thanks for the pickup and stuff


I can't explain to you how much I appreciate everything you have all done for me. The amount of support is truly overwhelming.

It is hard to explain what you all given me. The amount of independence and freedom the pickup is able to give me is unexplainable. I have been able to do some things with this vehicle in the short time I have had it that I have not been able to do in 23 years.


The biggest thing is sitting in the front seat. This might not seem like a big deal to most but sitting in the back of a van does not give you a very independent feeling. It is unbelievable how well I am able to see things driving through the country sitting up front and up high in a pickup. I have been able to see things the last couple months that I haven't been seeing to for a long time. Scouting deer and vermin has become a lot easier.

Another thing I've noticed is that I am waiving at everyone I see. I couldn't do that from the back of the shaggin wagon. So if you see a white 2017 GMC Sierra 2500HD SLE coming towards you, with an idiot waving on the passenger side. It's just me.


With this vehicle there really are no limitations on where I can go. I have made a list of roads that I want to travel and destinations that I want to reach that will be possible with this vehicle. That doesn't suck.


Having a new dependable vehicle with four-wheel drive does not suck either. I haven't gotten stuck with the pickup yet. But I plan on trying to and that is going to be fun. This fall, I was able to bring my deer in to the locker in the back of the pickup that I got with my crossbow. That might seem like a small thing but it was momentous for me.


The vehicle I had before was becoming not very reliable. I had missed a lot of events and was not able to go to many places because it was either broke down or I just did not trust it. With this new vehicle that is something I do not have to worry about anymore.


The wheelchair lift, modified batwing door and wheelchair locking device have all worked perfectly. It is an amazing piece of technology that should work for years to come.

Because of these reasons and more, I cannot thank you enough for what you of all done for me. You have given me more than financial support, you have given me a new outlook on life.

Thanks for reading, Clint Lindemann





Thursday, December 28, 2017

Today is…


Today is…
Today is December 28.
Today was my accident.
Today was Wednesday.
Today is no different.
Today is no easier.
Today changed lives.
Today sometimes I forget.
Today is no harder.
Today is the same.
Today gets remembered.
Today made me stronger.
Today is just a day.
Today bothers some.
Today is a reminder.
Today I went hunting.
Today doesn't bother me.
Today I will never be the same.
Today will make me better.
Today will open eyes.
Today was 23 years ago.
Today will never be the same.
Today doesn't have to be sad.
Today my life was saved.
Today I am thankful.
Today I am still here.
Today can help others.
Today is December 28…

Nothing happens unless the day is seized. Don't look back on what you should have done. Trials in life are just that. If you get that second chance, grab it…

Thanks for reading, Clint

Tuesday, December 26, 2017

ND Game & Fish license drawing process


I have to commend the North Dakota game and fish for a lot of things they do. Their dedication to the youth in the state is unmatched. From Hunter safety through the different youth seasons, the opportunities for youth in the state are endless. Upland game and waterfowl populations are at an all-time level. Big game have been affected by things no one could've predicted. But still the opportunities are plenty to fill a tag.

But one thing that needs to be addressed is the length of time it takes for drawing results for big game. In 2015 the game and fish tried to get everything electronic to speed up the process. In the last couple years the process has actually dragged out longer. One excuse is that there are still some who apply using paper applications. But this excuse doesn't hold any water seeing that other states also have the combination of paper and electronic applications and they get through the process much quicker.


When the game and fish is asked why the process takes too long, they of course say there are many factors. One factor they say is it takes a long time to process the gratis tags. This should have no bearing on the process at all. Other states have gratis tag systems like ours and it does not add any time to the drawing at all. If the state is auditing applicants who are applying for gratis, that shouldn't affect applicants in a whole different category. Or just make the gratis due date earlier.

Another argument is that is the game and fish needs to do their aerial surveys in order to find out how many animals are available to hunt. It is through the surveys that they determine how many licenses are available in each unit. The surveys are done in January and February because the snow covered ground makes it easier to spot game. So from beginning of survey through hunters actually receiving their tags, or knowing they are going to receive a tag, the process takes months. In other states this process takes weeks even sometimes just hours.


You might be thinking why we need the drawing results sooner. It is not because we as hunters are impatient, it is that we need to plan. Many people need months in advance to take vacation with their jobs. Getting lottery results in late July or August is not enough time for some people to plan and get time off from their jobs for the hunting season in November. A lot of time and money goes into every season for hunters. We all know waiting for the results is part of the process no matter if you are hunting your home state or applying in states throughout the US. It would be nice to know if you had a North Dakota tag so you can plan on hunting trips.

All we are asking for as hunters and sportsmen is that the process be sped up. There is no reason why with technology these days that the results need to drag out as long as they do. The quicker the results get posted the sooner sportsmen can plan, scout, get vacation, make arrangements and do their best to have a successful hunt. Like I said before, the game and fish does a lot of things great but the licensing division is one thing that needs an overhaul.

Examples from this year's drawing times:
  • North Dakota deer rifle applications were due June 7. The results came on July 31. - 54 days waiting for results. Seasons started November 10.
  • South Dakota West River deer applications were due July 19 at 8 AM and results were July 26. - 7 days waiting for results. Season started November 11.
  • South Dakota pronghorn applications were due at 8 AM August 16. Results were posted at 11 AM August 16. - 3 hours waiting for results. Season started September 30.
  • Montana big game - nonresident deer application deadline March 15, results were April 17. - 33 days waiting for results. Season started October 21.
  • North Dakota pronghorn applications were available July 18, 2017, results were August 21. - 34 days waiting for results. The season opened September 1.
  • Minnesota Bear Hunt Lottery - Applications available late March. The deadline was May 5. If you have been chosen to receive a 2017 quota bear license, you will receive a postcard as your notice in the mail by mid-June 2017. The season started September 1.
Thanks for reading, Clint

Saturday, December 16, 2017

Getting something for nothing



I truly appreciate all of the donations. But I can't get over feeling totally guilt ridden. I don't deserve this generosity. This is no one's problem but my own. It sucks getting handouts. I don't want to sound like I am ungrateful because I am truly grateful. Beyond words grateful. But it tears me apart being on this side of the dollar. I don't know how anyone can take something for nothing. People congratulate me and tell me how much they like the pickup. They should be congratulating themselves. They are the ones who deserve praise. I wish I didn't feel like this. I wish I could just be accepting of everything that has been donated. But I don't think I will ever get over how much everyone supports me.

The other day I got $100 cash sent to me randomly through the mail. What am I supposed to do with that? I know most will say go and have fun with it. But how can you possibly do that knowing that money was probably hard earned and given to you with no questions asked. I know you don't expect anything in return or expect money donated to be earmarked toward something when given randomly but when you are on the receiving end it is different, at least for me. I don't know what to do with this money. I'm pretty sure they don't want me blowing it in the jars or buying rounds at the bar. I guess it will go towards gas for the pickup. I don't know why but it gives me an uneasy feeling.

Thanks for reading, Clint 

Monday, December 11, 2017

It's too late for me…


A lot of people ask me, "I bet you can't wait for a cure." Of course I would like a cure for paralysis. But it is too late for me. I do not want a cure for myself. That might sound a little not right. But it is the truth. My body now is kind of like a trophy with a lot of battle scars that is unfixable.

Like a lot of things about paralysis it is hard to explain. If tomorrow there was some miraculous cure that could repair spinal cord injuries and I took it that would be a day I would be in a lot of pain. I wouldn't even want to imagine the amount of pain I would be in physically and mentally. But even if there was a miraculous cure it wouldn't help because of the bullet in my spinal column. That is another story.

After years of not being able to feel, a paralyzed body starts to break down and deform. The joints, the cartilage and stuff are pretty much shot after five or 10 years. All of the cushioning between the bones has deteriorated. So as you could imagine the pain would be unbearable.

Along with that there is also the muscle atrophy. When you do not use muscles they become almost dead. I used to have spasms in my legs, the spasms kept some muscle tone in my legs but I haven't had spasms in my legs for many years. My leg muscles are pretty much dead. That may be a hard pill for some to swallow but that is the reality. I wouldn't want to even imagine the feeling of being able to feel and not being able to move an appendage. That would suck.

The amount of surgeries that it would take for all of my joints and muscles to get back to somewhat of a normal function would be unbelievable. I don't think I could bear that many surgeries.

So for the above reasons I do not want a cure for myself. But of course I want a cure for people it could help. I myself am beyond repair. I am pretty much just spare parts now pieced together. Kind of like an old junker car that somehow keeps on running.

I have hope for others of course but it is too late for quads like myself. The sooner people realize that the sooner they can focus on living your life as a quad.

For more information about issues after spinal cord injury follow the links below.



Thanks for reading, Clint


Wednesday, December 6, 2017

Hunting New Territory


Here is an excerpt from a blog I wrote for SAFESHOOT. A new hunting product on the market designed to lessen the chance of shooting accidents.

"It seems that the non-hunting public believes that the premises of hunting are to use a weapon and fulfill some inner need to kill. Not to say that we take pulling the trigger lightly. But most hunts are about the relationships made, experiences gained and the memories lived…"

To read the rest of the blog click here: SAFESHOOT Blog

Wednesday, November 22, 2017

Clintism #17: If you're not thankful, you're doing it wrong...


Thankful for my friends.
Thankful for yesterday.
Thankful for my family.
Thankful for you in my life.
Thankful for not giving up.
Thankful for your support.
Thankful for the future.
Thankful for being your friend.
Thankful for every breath.
Thankful for the memories.
Thankful for your friendship.
Thankful for a chance.
Thankful for that hug.
Thankful for your compassion.
Thankful for what I can do.
Thankful for your help.
Thankful for the past.
Thankful for what I am going to do.
Thankful for you.
Thankful for tomorrow.
Thankful for us.
Thankful for being able to be thankful.

Thanks for reading, Clint.

Monday, November 13, 2017

2017 Bow Buck


Well today was the first day that I was able to get out hunting with my crossbow this year because of medical reasons. I haven't even shot any practice rounds with my bow at all. I have had my trail cameras set up since June just in case I would be able to get out. But with my limited time in the chair, things just didn't line up right until this weekend. Usually by this time in the season I have been out 20 times or so. This year has sucked.

 About a week ago a local landowner got a hold of me and told me that he has had around eight different bucks and dozens of does continuously on a specific piece of his land. He told me if I wanted to hunt, he wouldn't think it would take very long for me to get a shot. Three days ago the landowner Steve and my buddy Don rearranged some round bales to make a little blind for me.


Today, Sunday November 12 was going to be at first day of the season for me. I was pumped. As time got closer to 2:30 PM, when Don was going to pick me up, I was shaking with anticipation. You don't know how much you miss something until it is taken away. Of course in my excitement I forgot to bring a couple things. I forgot my camouflage burlap which I wrap around myself for cover. I also forgot to bring along my decocking arrow. I really thought not having the camouflage burlap was going to screw me over. I asked Don if there was anything in the pickup and he brought out a red and black plaid blanket. Better than nothing I guess. Then I told Don that I forgot my decocking arrow. He said, "Well hopefully we won't need it." My thoughts exactly.



I got set up right at 3 PM knowing that the deer started moving around 4 PM. That gave me an hour for the woods to settle down. My buddy Don was sitting in a deer tower about 50 yards away. At 4 PM the first doe made an appearance. She came from the West and was headed my way but she soon realized something was up and must've winded me because she broke North and never appeared again. With me sitting in between the round bales, I really couldn't see what was going on three sides of me. Around 5 PM a small doe came from the East and stood right in front of me. All of a sudden she bolted and I soon realized why. A little 3 x 3 buck was dogging her. I grunted at him but he would not stop in the right spot. He had more important things on his mind.
There is no reason why this should have happened. I could feel the wind in the back of my head all evening, the wound vac was making noise every 5 minutes, couldn't reach grunt call so I had to mouth it and I forgot my camouflage burlap. To say I was ill-prepared would be an understatement. Can't explain it. Sometimes you just have to be thankful.

At 5:20 PM, it was starting to get dark and low light. I decided to make a couple grunts to see if there was anything around. After I made two soft grunts, a doe stuck her head around the bales and looked right at me. She was at least 15 feet away. But she knew something was up. Maybe it was my plaid blanket. Could've been the wind also. It was swirling the whole night. But as soon as that doe left, a 4 x 4 buck followed her. I grunted at him and this time this buck stopped in the right spot. He looked like he was going to run again so I grunted again. He was at 25 yards and I squeezed the trigger on my crossbow. The next thing I knew, he was tipped over and didn't go anywhere.

I texted Don and he made his way over to me. When he got over he said, "Did you see that big guy?" I told him I only saw the two little bucks. He said Mr. Big was just to the east of me and went south before he came in my shooting area. Don also said he was watching the buck in front of me and all of a sudden it just tipped over. He said that was something to see. Not realizing I was going to shoot that one.


Got a hold of Steve the landowner and he was there within fifteen minutes. We took some pictures, reminisced about what happened, gutted the buck and brought him to the locker.
This year has been a struggle for many reasons. Not being able to hunt is one of the biggest struggles for me. I am very glad and fortunate to have great friends who will do anything for me. This hunt today couldn't have gone any better. I usually like to drag out my hunting season three or four months. But being able to get it done quickly this year means a lot. I just didn't have the time this year. Already looking forward to next year. Thanks Steve and Don.

Thanks for reading, Clint.