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Tuesday, July 10, 2018

The Night It Started


It was the middle of January 2018 when the story begins. At this time I had been dealing with some medical problems that had been going on for about a year. I could only get in the chair for medical appointments and therapy. It sucked. But during one of my appointments at the wound clinic in Fargo I told the nurse that I would be opting for surgery instead of doing what we have been doing. What we were doing wasn't working. She agreed and was going to line up the doctors for the surgeries.

At first the surgeries were scheduled for May 5. This was going to suck. That would mean four more months of not being able to do anything and that would mean I would waste at least a couple months after the surgery for recuperating. The physical therapy after the surgeries was very strict and if you wanted everything to heal correctly, which I did, you had to follow their orders. About a week later the hospital called and said they moved up the surgeries to February 5. I was a little nervous with that but told them to put me on their schedule.

I had one more appointment with the wound nurse before the surgeries were going to take place. During this appointment I asked her if I could do one last hoorah. Could I go out and tie one on? She says I don't know why not, you can't do any more damage. Even if you do they are going to fix it in surgery. That made me happy in the facial region. Because I was going to do it up right. Clint style…

January 27, 2018 was going to be the night of debauchery. I looked around Enderlin or Lisbon to see if anything was going on that night. There was nothing special. So I asked my friend Bob if anything was going on. He said there was a banquet at Fort Ransom for the rodeo. That got me intrigued. Buckle bunnies are neat. No offense. Knowing our destination was Fort, I looked up what was going on at the Kathryn bar because that would be on the way. Just my luck, they were having karaoke. I hadn't been on the karaoke tour for a while but I figured I could lube up the vocal cords with some liquid courage.

So the plan was set. Bob, Steven and I were going to hit the valley for some neat stuff. When we get together stuff and things happen. Both sides. I hadn't had a cocktail for a while so the "to go cup" was making me feel pretty good by the time we got to Kathryn. And by the way it was fuck cold that night. Around zero with a stiff breeze.

There was about 20 or so people at the bar. A good crowd for small-town North Dakota. I believe I only knew three people. But by the end of the night they all knew me… Good grief. We sat by the door, or I should say I sat by the door and they stood, for about two cocktails worth and then we made our move through the crowd. I could tell there was one woman who was giving me the eyeball. I may have given her a wink or two. After another Morgan she walked up to me. She says and I quote, "You are the sexiest person ever." I said, "I think you need a drink." She laughed and said, "I will take a bottle of Budweiser."


She pulled up a stool next to me and we started to talk. The conversation was neat. Then the inevitable question came up. She asked, "So what happened to you?" I responded with, "I fell out of a sex swing. But don't worry, she is all right." She looked at me and died laughing. It was good stuff. I knew right then that we were going to click.


So the night went on while the Morgans and Budweiser's were flowing. Then karaoke people were begging for singers. I wanted to but there was one big step from the bar down to where the karaoke was. But I had friends to let me down and up. It was quite the scene. I sang a lot. I did all of my usuals plus a couple new ones. I probably sang around dozen times at least. So this meant I was getting lifted up and down every time. So the guys in the bar were taking turns. Good stuff. There were a couple guys that probably shouldn't have lifted me but their old man strength pulled them through. After every song I would go back up to the bar and sit by Sarah. The next day I thought to myself, instead of making people lift me up and down why didn't I just stay on the bottom and have ever else come down there. Sometimes the brain doesn't work when you have Morgan fever.




One of the new songs I broke out was "Under the Bridge" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers. I didn't know how this would go over or how I would do, but once I started it everybody started yipping and hollering. Pretty soon there was a chick dancing on the table. That was neat. Don't remember who she was. The karaoke lady even let me sing the last song of the night. I ended the night with "Gin and Juice" by The Gourds. It went over well, probably because it was the end of the night and most people's senses were blurry.


In between songs Sarah and I would also go outside and smoke some cowboy killers. Her preferred brand. The cigerts were flowing among other things… But eventually they had to kick us out but the good times still continue.


It was so cold that when I was trying to back into the pickup wheelchair lift, my hand wasn't working. I couldn't turn my arm. I think it was frozen. Evidently we were outside too many times. Geesh. The ride home was a blur but our DD Steven did well, evidently. We shut the bar down so we probably got home around 2:30 AM. I bet if I asked the nurse if I could go out one more hoorah she didn't have that evening in mind.

We never made it to Fort… And it makes me happy in the facial region we didn't.

Thanks for reading, Clint
 
My sisters stopped by the next day and took this snap. Good grief.

Sheyenne Saloon Song by Clint

This one time in Kathryn
For all the world to see
Was a boy and a girl sucking face and singing karaoke.

The Morgan was great.
The Budweiser was fine.
The Marlboros were good.
The night was divine.

The shots were plenty.
We didn't leave any.

The bartenders filled our glass.
She also fell on her ass.

There was a ride on my chair.
Live your life like no one cares.