Getting something for nothing

I truly appreciate all of the donations. But I can't get over feeling totally guilt ridden. I don't deserve this generosity. This is no one's problem but my own. It sucks getting handouts. I don't want to sound like I am ungrateful because I am truly grateful. Beyond words grateful. But it tears me apart being on this side of the dollar. I don't know how anyone can take something for nothing. People congratulate me and tell me how much they like the pickup. They should be congratulating themselves. They are the ones who deserve praise. I wish I didn't feel like this. I wish I could just be accepting of everything that has been donated. But I don't think I will ever get over how much everyone supports me.

The other day I got $100 cash sent to me randomly through the mail. What am I supposed to do with that? I know most will say go and have fun with it. But how can you possibly do that knowing that money was probably hard earned and given to you with no questions asked. I know you don't expect anything in return or expect money donated to be earmarked toward something when given randomly but when you are on the receiving end it is different, at least for me. I don't know what to do with this money. I'm pretty sure they don't want me blowing it in the jars or buying rounds at the bar. I guess it will go towards gas for the pickup. I don't know why but it gives me an uneasy feeling.

Thanks for reading, Clint